Versus the old ladies
by PRIVATE
Summary: Short. Dumb. And stupid as heck. But it has Baryl and Colonel if it helps.


Hey look everybody! A story from me! Been about a year and instead of finshing off my original stories, I've been reading the Megaman EXE manga all the way up to the ninth volume. I'd love to say none of this will make sense if you haven't read the manga but I don't think will make sense to anybody who has either.

* * *

Let the story begin!

And so it was fun day in the world while the birds go tweet and the ducks go fart but something seemed awfully wrong to one netop.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuraaaaaaaaraaaaargh!"

Baryl was doing what he usualy did when he was bored. He'd find an old lady, run up to her, place a stuffed turkey and her head and yell. When the lady either pulls out a can of mace or a magnum, that was the cue to run away while singing hoedowns in piglatin. But there was so something odd about this old lady.

"Arf!"

Very odd indeed.

"Um, Baryl, sir, I'm not sure but I think that's a chihuahua."

Baryl looked into his pocket, to no avail because it was filled with all sorts of weird stuff, and wondered how and if his netnavi was correct. He looked at the dog. He looked at his pocket. He looked at the dog. He looked at his pocket.

This went on for an hour.

"M'kay Colonel. Explain to me how this is not an old lady." Baryl pulled out the PET and shoved the digital camera portion in front of the dog's face so that Colonel could have a good look at it. "There's no freaking way this is not an old lady."

The digital avatar stared intently at the dog.

The dog ate intently from the turkey.

The turkey was dead.

"Hmmm... If I say I don't know, will you keep me out of your pocket? Or at least the other one?"

After trying to snatch a piece of meat from the chihuahua, he turned to the screen. "No. But why?"

"The evil monkey will never think of looking for me in there."

"His name is Melvin and we will all learn to get along."

"Nutbunnies."

But then a noise!

"Vuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrawgh!" The dog threw up all over a real old lady, who then proceeded to kick the dog into Saturn's orbit.

"EWW!"

"Aparently dogs gets motion sickness easily from electronics..."

"Quick let's run!" Baryl ran away while the old lady pulled out a bazooka. "Yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yaiyayi!" Nobody said it to him, but Baryl has some strange battle cries.

TEH NEXT DAY!

"I got it! Let's watch a movie together!" Baryl grabbed Colonel's PET and shoved it in his pocket.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"It's alright, I've emptied them out."

"M'kay." Colonel was HAPPY. Not certain if anybody knows or not but he has sick fantasies. SICK.

"Already. We are going to watch a movie at the dollar theatre and if we see any old ladies-"

"You'll let me see you with your shirt off?"

"-you know what to do. Wait-Wha?"

"Nothing!"

The movie theatre was small and tiny. No really, it was small and tiny. There was only enough room for two seats. They used portapotties in replacements of restrooms.

Baryl walked up to the ticket bender who happened to be some snobby new girl.

"Two tickets for Enter the Dragon."

The girl paused from her nail-filing and looked at him with that disgusting look that most snobby girls have. "Uh. We don't have a reservation policy so yeaaaaaaah, you can get only ticket for your self but the other person who going to come in later will have to pay in later so yeaaaaaahh..." She continued on with her hand care.

"Hold on. You don't seem to understand here," Baryl pulled Colonel out and showed him to the girl. "It's for my friend. So once again, I'll ask you, two tickets."

Colonel looked sad.

_Why won't you call me your love..?_ Colonel sighed. The girl was just plain confused now. "Wait, wouldn't the logical choice be to hide him in your pocket and then just take him out when the movie starts?"

"Ummm..."

"And besides, why would a netnavi go see a movie? Couldn't they just download a bootlegged version off the net?"

"RAWR!" Baryl used sleeping gas to knock out the girl and sneak in. He made himself quite comfy amongst the chairs. Colonel just watched as best as he could from the view of his netop's groin. The movie commercials just barely begin to roll and yet, Baryl leaves the the theatre with new aspirations.

"You know what... I could so totally be a kung fu action movie star! In fact why don't I?"

And so Baryl walks up to some underground crime syndicate place.

"Got my back Colonel?"

"Always, Baryl, always..."

They bust in! But then a terrible realization pops out. Baryl didn't know any moves. Except for one but I wouldn't call it a move per se. "NINJA STAR PET THROW!"

And then everybody in the place died.

Except for Baryl and Colonel of course.

But Hark! An old Lady!

"It's time Colonel! CROSS FUUUUUUUUSE!"

A brilliant light surrounded him and he felt tremendous power as his and Colonel's consciousness merged. But to his disappointment, the only thing different about him was his hair. It was spiked up like Colonel's.

"Gosh dangit."

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. Could you repeat that for me?" The old lady pulls out a hearing horn.

DUN DUN DUN?

* * *

Please no one ask about this one. 


End file.
